You Get What You Pay For

So, I'm with my nephew in the dollar store, mainly because where else can you find that fine German candy, obergrubben? (slogan: You Vill Eat it NOW!!) As I'm looking around, I spot it. There, between the British hand soap and the deodorant with the label in Arabic--a pregnancy test. At the dollar store.

And I have to wonder to myself...Is this a good seller for them? Are there a lot of women out there who are thinking "Oh my God...I'm late! I better get to the dollar store...pronto"? Is this really the place where you want to cut corners, ladies?

I stood there for a while, contemplating just what kind of pregnancy test could be had for $1. Honestly, I would have bought it just to find out, if I didn't think I'd end up looking like some kind of cad. (I'm not sure there's more than one kind of cad, but if there is, buying your girlfriend a pregnancy test at the dollar store makes you the worst kind.) I imagine you would open the box and find nothing but a 3"x5" card with the following:

1. Stand up.

2. Look down.

3. Can you see your feet?

If you answer no, skip ahead to #5.

4. Repeat in one month.

5. You may be pregnant...or just really large-breasted. Either way, Congratulations!!

* results not 100%. Consult your physician.

Anyway, today's lesson...Light bulbs, toothpaste, candles? Okay at the dollar store. Home pregnancy kits? Not so much.