June 10, 2004

For Doug

I couldn't seem to find the original 'wrong' editorial from the Tampa Bay Tribune, but I did find their apology.

I suppose that this is going to happen from time to time in the newspaper industry, a little embarrassing, to be sure, but also a very telling indicator of the major problems with mass media. Ever since Dewey "beat" Truman, the media would rather be first than right. They rush to report, but rarely bother to clean up. Sure, maybe they'll place a minor note somewhere on page 11. They've covered their asses.

Besides which, there's something remarkably insincere about writing two editorials in advance of the result. Don't think so? Just imagine taking your girl out to pop the question. In one pocket, you've got a beautiful ring. But, just in case it doesn't go well, in the other, you've got the key she gave you to her apartment. Tied to the key is a little tag with "hit the bricks, beeyatch!" written on it. Now imagine saying "I've been looking forward to this for a long time," and through some mishap sliding the key across the table instead of the ring box.

Hey, no big deal...just explain that you made a mistake and give her the ring. Just make sure you remember one thing...

When removing a ring from one's ass, it's best to use plenty of lubricant.


  1. Anonymous12:29 PM

    precious dude! Thanks for the footwork. I agree about the inscincerity of it. I certainly can't imagine writing up a manuscript on an experiment I've conducted until I've got the actual results of that experiment. Nice analogy with the proposal thing. I was thinking I'd have a chloroform rag in the other pocket to knock her out with and then deny it ever happening. Then I could break up with her and say terrible and meaningless things like, "It's not you, it's me. I just want so much more out of life than you can offer me." or "I'm not the same person that I was when I fell in love with you. I'm better than that now."


  2. Anonymous8:12 PM

    Let us not forget last year when The NY Post printed an editorial entitled "Yanks Can't Get the Job Done" the day after Aaron Boone sent the Red Sox home crying.