Honorary doctorates. Guys like me have to give up years of our lives, fork over a buttload of dough, and work ourselves silly to get a doctorate, and then it's like "Hey! Look! It's Billy Joel and Kermit the Frog! Let's give them a doctorate!" For what?! Being entertaining? Sing us a song, you're a PhD? Jeez, if that's the case, what's next? Take a few strippers and make 'em honorary surgeons? "Hey, Cupcake...you've got a nice caboose. How'd you like a medical license?"
Okay, I'm done now.