September 08, 2004

And Speaking Of Georges...

There's this.

Please. George. Stop. Just stop. For the love of God, they're done already. We love them. If you keep messing with them, you're only going to fuck them up and leave us with Luke Skywalker and his two ewoks taking the land speeder to find crazy old Jar Jar Kenobi. Then we will have to hunt you down.


  1. Well, at least he's got Han shooting ... well, almost first. Jerk.

  2. I have to say I like these three changes.

    The old guy who played Anakin at the end of Jedi was too goofy looking; he possessed no physical threat and no one could buy into him being the former Darth Vader. Plus -- and they don't mention this in the movies, it's just something us Star Wars geeks know -- when a Jedi goes dark, redeems himself, and then dies, his spirit form takes on the image of his body as it was before he became evil. This is one of Lucas' own rules on the Jedi thing. He had to replace Sebastian Shaw with Hayden Christensen -- according to his rules, not mine.

    As for Palpatine in Empire, I was actually hoping they'd do that. You see Ian McDiarmid as Palpatine in Jedi, and than as Palpatine/Sidious in the prequels, and we accept the fact that he's the guy -- like Desmond Llewelyn as Major Geoffrey "Q" Boothroyd in the Bond flicks, this actor has become the personification of the character and can't be replaced. Having seen all the other films, something just doesn't work for me when I go back and watch Empire now because the Emperor looks and sounds different in that film.

    As for the Greedo thing, I think this was Lucas' biggest sin when he made the Special Edition Trilogy in '97. You don't find me quoting Ben Affleck that often, but the best line in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back was, "Guys, that has got to be the worst idea I've heard since having Greedo shoot first." If George needs to make a change here, he should go back and re-install the original footage from 1977 in which Han Solo just blows the little Rodian bastard away in cold blood. (Remember, Solo was a flawed hero who didn't start to get a real grasp on the whole morality thing until after being rescued from Jabba in the beginning of Jedi. Plus, the original scene with Han shooting first is one of Harrison Ford's best on-screen moments ever because of the aloof attitude he uses to play it out.)

    And Lucas did need to work on the appearance by Jabba in the Star Wars Special Edition because, as it stands now, it does look fake.

    Lucas has been playing around with his movies since Empire came out in 1980. The first few weeks Empire was in theaters, it had additional scenes that were chopped out after only two or three weeks. These scenes are still in the book and I clearly remember them because, as a kid, I saw Empire something like 10 times the first week-and-a-half it was out. I've also talked to other people who remember them, too. (So Lucas is full of crap when he tells people these scenes were never in the movie in the first place.)

    They include...

    1) Obi-Wan's spirit first appearing to Luke while the latter is still trapped in the wampa's den.

    2) Another wampa breaking into the Rebel base and killing some troopers and tauntauns.

    3) Han and Leia talking about the wampas while watching Luke being "healed" in the bacta tank.

    4) A snowspeeder crashing into the head of Imperial General Veers' walker at the end of the AT-AT scene.

    5) A longer lightsaber fight between Luke and Vader, with some great dialogue from the Dark Lord as he attempts to turn his son to the dark side.