August 17, 2004

Oprah Voir Dire

Sounds like some kind of yummy Cajun dish, no? Actually, it's just the news that Oprah has been selected as a juror in a murder case. You'd think they wouldn't pick her. Not because she's rich or anything, just because she'd be a) too distracting in the courtroom, and b) too intimidating in the deliberation room.

I picture something like this:

"Miss Foreperson, has the jury reached a verdict?"
"Oh yeah, girlfriend! But first...Everybody look under their seats! We've got gift baskets with some hair products, and a certificate for a free cruise! Except for you over there behind the table...You won't be needin' yours. But we threw in a couple of cartons of cigarettes, and a book by Martha Stewart on how to turn your old toothbrush into a handy shiv, and how to make raisin wine in your toilet."


  1. Oughta kick your butt for making that Cajun comment. But as another blogger said, pity the guy up on charges if he's standing between Oprah and her shooting the schedule for next week.

  2. Yeah...I originally had French, but I thought Cajun was funnier. Plus, it would piss you off a little.