I Never Thought This Song Was About Me

You know who's really so vain? Carly Simon, for thinking anyone gives a shit anymore.

LOST and Confused

I think my feelings about the series finale of "LOST" would be best expressed through interpretive dance...no, wait. Not interpretive dance. That would require kicking myself in the nuts several times. The second best expression would be through a new theme song. Like one of those ones from the 60s and 70s, where you had to explain the concept in the song itself. So here it is. You all know the tune.

Now sit right back and you’ll hear a tale,

A tale of a fateful trip.

That started from Australia

Aboard this flying ship.

Hugo was a mighty wealthy man,

The doctor brave and fair.

Six passengers took flight that day

On Oceanic Air. On Oceanic Air.

The sky was getting turbulent;

The plane was torn in two.

The pilot died from injuries,

And Kate’s armed escort, too. And Kate’s armed escort, too.

The plane touched down on the beach of an uncharted tropic isle.

With Doctor Jack

And Sawyer too

The crippled guy and his chair.

The pregnant girl,

Polar bears, black smoke too

What will these characters do?

So join us here each week my friends,

You’re sure to feel abused,

If nothing is explained on LOST

The viewer just gets used.

Yet Another Suggestion I'd Love To See Happen

Mickey Rourke's awesome quote about Kanye's behavior...
"Come take the microphone out of MY hand, brother."

Go West...No, Seriously....Go!

I have to admit that I stopped watching MTV when they stopped playing music videos. I did watch Kanye West's utter idiocy on YouTube, though. He's never really impressed me, as a musical artist or a human being, but that little tantrum (obviously) hit a new low.

One thing I can't fathom is how can he think that Beyonce's video is "one of the best videos of all time." We are talking about a video that is nothing but her and two backup dancers doing the same dance moves that they do in live performances.(which, frankly, don't seem all that impressive to me. That punching part looks like the dance that Beavis & Butthead do.)  Let me say that again: it's essentially a video of her live performance. If you brought a video camera to a Beyonce performance, you, too, could make this video. Not only is it not "one of the best videos of all time," that kind of thing was already dull when MTV began all those years ago. I know. I was there. Seriously, how did she get nominated in the first place? There's very little that's innovative or creative in terms of the video.

I'll bet you can think of a bunch of videos that kick that video's ass. If so, throw 'em in the comments. Here's some off the top of my head:
Sledgehammer--Peter Gabriel
Thriller--Michael Jackson
Sabotage--Beastie Boys
Toe Jam--The BPA (featuring David Byrne & Dizzee Rascal)
Fell in Love with a Girl--The White Stripes
Take on Me--A-Ha

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch the "Toe Jam" video, and possibly Fatboy Slim's "Weapon of Choice."

P.S. I know "Weapon of Choice" is a "dancing" video, but at least there's background scenery. Plus, it's Christopher Walken. Dancing. In an empty hotel.

Please Don't Talk About Me When I'm Gone...Unless It's At A Big Concert On TV

It seems to me that Michael Jackson ended up being more popular dead than alive. I guess that always happens, though, doesn't it? The public and the press always tend to speak better of people in death than they did when they were alive. After all, it's considered bad manners to speak ill of the dead (although that never stopped me before, as anyone who read my work, especially about Nixon, in college can attest). But I just want to educate the public and the media about two specific terms:

eulogize /"ju;l@dZVIz/ (also eulogise)
· v. praise highly.
– DERIVATIVES eulogist n. eulogistic adj. eulogistically adv.

deify /"deIIfVI, "di;I-/
· v. (deifies, deified) make into or worship as a god.
– DERIVATIVES deification n.
– ORIGIN ME: from OFr. deifier, from eccles. L. deificare, from deus ‘god’.

When it came to Michael Jackson's death, the first would have been entirely acceptable. The second is what we got. To be fair, I listened to Michael Jackson's music, but to see people call him "the greatest entertainer ever"? Really? I think that's a bit much. First of all, I thought his two greatest albums were "Off the Wall" and "Thriller," and I suspect that was due in some significant part to Quincy Jones. The rest of the music...eh. Good but not great. Frankly, I think that strictly in terms of musical ability--writing, singing, arranging, etc.---some of those attending the memorial service were better than Jackson. Stevie Wonder jumps to the top of the list. I don't think that Jackson was the first artist to unite black and white America, either, even though I've heard that over and over again, mostly as an excuse for the overwhelming media coverage of his death. What about Nat "King" Cole, or Sam Cooke, or Marvin Gaye, or any number of other Motown artists. (Again, I think Stevie Wonder might be included.) It's true, Jackson sold an incredible number of albums and tickets, but I'm not that sure that in and of itself makes him great, any more than the Big Mac is somehow "better" than a burger or steak from your local diner, or the film Titanic is somehow "better" than, say, The Wrestler, simply because the former sold more tickets, or that the Facebook user with 1,000 "friends" is somehow a better person than the user with 50.

We sometimes have an exaggerated sense of our own era. How many times have you seen a top 20 list of the greatest (insert topic here) of all time, and noticed that most of them are from the last couple of years. To put things in a little perspective, I could mention that Rudolph Valentino's funeral drew about 100,000 mourners, and a) his career was much shorter, b) it was in 1926, well before the modern technology available to disseminate an artist's work around the globe, and c) it was a funeral, not a glorified concert. And the anniversaries of the deaths of Elvis Presley (in 1977) and James Dean (in 1955) still draw tens of thousands to Graceland and Fairmount, Indiana, respectively. If, in fifty-five years, people are still flocking to Neverland Ranch (or wherever), I'll gladly admit I was wrong. Until then, Michael's got a long way to go.

Look, I have no problem with Jackson. He made good music. He was influential. He was acquitted of any criminal activity. But let's be realistic. He was just an entertainer. And I don't even think he was, as many people have said, "the greatest entertainer ever." For my money, that title belongs to the great Sammy Davis, Jr. No one else even comes close. (And he's another one that united black and white America before Jackson.) The really ugly thing about all this is that it made a spectacle of what was obviously a tragedy for Jackson's family. I hope they found some comfort in all of it.

What's Wrong With Us?

Don't get me wrong, I feel for Michael Jackson's family and friends, and I wouldn't deny his impact on popular music. But it's been over 24 hours of non-stop Jacko news (literally) on some news stations. On my local station, they even featured an interview--I'm not making this up--with someone who once went to one of his concerts.

It really disturbs me that most of the people I've talked to have no idea what I'm talking about when I tell them about a young girl dubbed Neda who was shot down in the streets of Iran while demonstrating for the right of suffrage. And yet, within minutes of Jackson's death Twitter and Facebook and television media were rife with information about it, and have been at it non-stop for over a day.

In a better world, we would all be overwhelmed by news coverage of Neda's murder. Scratch that. In a better world, Neda would still be alive.

Truth In Advertising??

An "honest" R&B song. This ranks right up there with "Dick in a Box" as far as I'm concerned.

There Will Never Be Another

There's nobody today who even comes close. Happy Birthday, Frank.

Wow

I can't say too much about this. I was tooling around YouTube, and I ran across this. It's one of my favorite songs, and I really like this version. If you like it, go visit her website.



Man, that's purty.