My Top Ten Films of 2011

Okay, first of all, I did my top 11 films because it's 2011, and also because I suck at choosing. Second of all, I didn't see a lot of the films that many people are putting on their top ten lists, so really this should be called "My Most Entertaining Films of 2011." Third of all, this list was tough to put together. I just didn't feel as strongly about any of these films as I have about films from previous years. Maybe it's that those ones I missed this year were knock-outs, but I felt it was a pretty weak year for films. Finally, I'll probably change my mind about the list tomorrow, anyway. But here it is:

11. Kill List: This is one of those films I enjoyed, but know better than to recommend it to anyone else. It’s a little like Pulp Fiction meets The Wicker Man. And there are more than a couple of WTF? moments. Be warned: some of you will hate this.

10. A Separation: I wasn’t sure I’d like it at first, but quickly found myself caught up in the lives of the characters, right up until the ambiguous ending, which I actually could have done without.

9. I Saw the Devil: Watching this, I felt like I was abused…but in a good way, I guess, because here it is on my list. Disturbing film.

8. Hanna: I thought this was a well-done action thriller, with a strong performance by Saoirse Ronan.

7. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, pt. 2: A really, really great ending to a great series. I was never a huuuge fan, so I was really surprised at how moved I was by the film.

6. Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol: This might be on here just because I saw it so recently, but I doubt it. I love these kinds of films more than anything, and Mission Impossible does it really well.

5. We Need to Talk About Kevin: Of all the films on my list, this one got under my skin the most. I found it very difficult to watch, and very difficult to let go of afterwards.

4. X-Men First Class: With the talent involved, I would have thought Thor would have been the superhero movie of the year, but this one blew it away.

3. Martha Marcy May Marlene: Unlike A Separation, I felt this film’s ambiguous ending was justified. Great performances, especially by Elizabeth Olsen. John Hawkes, who I thought had one of the best performances of last year, as Teardrop, in Winter’s Bone, does it again here, as the deliciously creepy Patrick.

2. Drive: Unlike everyone else who liked this film, I didn’t care for the soundtrack. But man, did I like everything else.

1. Attack the block: I’m still not sure this should be at number one. But this film felt like the beginning of something, kind of like Carpenter’s Halloween. The feeling of a loving hand behind the camera, which should have been there in Super 8 (which didn’t make my list, despite some decent performances), but wasn’t. Also, love love LOVE Jodie Whittaker, ever since Venus (2006).

Honorable Mentions: The Help, Killer Elite, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, The Eagle, Paul, Straw Dogs

Not Seen, but probably should have: The Skin I Live In, 50/50, The Descendants, The Artist, The Tree of Life, Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

Most disappointing movies of the year: The Dilemma, The Green Hornet, Sucker Punch, Thor, Fright Night, and the worst film I saw all year: Abduction.

Final Note: Tucker and Dale vs Evil would be on my list, but I think that technically it's a 2010 release, even though it didn't get any release to speak of until this year.

The "Best" And "Worst" Films Of The Decade

Yeah, I know--everyone's making these lists. So why should you give a shit about mine? I honestly don't know. I don't know if anyone even reads this thing anymore, but I took the time to sit down and make the list, so I'm damn sure going to include it here.

A couple of points:

• I have "best" and "worst" in quotes because I'm not really maintaining these are the best or worst films of the decade. The best list should rightly be called "my favorites." For example, I'm sure there have been any number of great films over the last decade that I haven't seen. I could probably name them, but I'm not including them. And the worst list is even more vaguely defined. Here, I've included not only "bad" films, but films that I thought were vastly overrated. (Some of them are on a lot of "best of the decade" lists!) As with the other extreme, I'm sure that there were some really terrible films out there, but I wasn't stupid enough to waste my time with them. Let me repeat: these are only movies I have seen.
  
• I didn't run the numbers, but it feels like I have a lot of recent ones. Even though I hate lists that do that, I can't help it--it's tough to think of the older films.
• The list is alphabetical*
  
• I know...the list isn't complete. I just thought I'd put it up here until I finished.
  

The Best:

1. Amelie(2001)
2. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy(2004)
   
3. Apocalypto(2006)
   
4. Batman Begins(2005)
5. Black Hawk Down(2001)
   
6. The Bourne Identity(2002)
7. Brick(2005)
   
8. Casino Royale(2006)
9. The Dark Knight(2008)
   
10. The Descent(2005)
11. District B13(2004)
    
12. Elf(2003)
    
13. The Fall(2006) 
14. Finding Nemo(2003)
15. The Gift(2000)
    
16. Gone Baby Gone(2007)
    
17. Gran Torino(2008)
18. Grizzly Man(2005)
19. Iron Man(2008)
20. Joy Ride(2001)
    
21. King Kong(2005) 
22. The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters(2007)
    
23. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang(2005)
24. The Last Samurai(2003)
25. Let the Right One In(2008)
    
26. The Lord of the Rings trilogy(2001/2002/2003)
27. The Magdeline Sisters(2002)
    
28. Man on Wire(2008)
    
29. Memento(2000)
30. Oldboy(2003)
31. The Reader(2008)
    
32. Requiem for a Dream(2000)
33. Shaun of the Dead(2004)
    
34. Sin City(2005)
35. Sin Nombre(2009)
36. Spartan(2004)
    
37. Spider-Man(2002)
38. Sunshine(2007)
    
39. Tae Guk Gi(2004)
40. Taken(2008)
41. Things We Lost in the Fire(2007)
42. Towelhead(2007)
    
43. Unbreakable(2000)
    
44. Unleashed(2005)
45. Venus(2006)
    
46. Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit(2005)
    
47. Watchmen(2007)
    
48. Whale Rider(2002)
49. The World's Fastest Indian(2005)
    
50. The Wrestler(2008)

The Worst:

1. The Departed(2006)*
2. Kill Bill, volumes 1&2(2003/2004)*
3. Slumdog Millionaire(2008)*
4. 88 Minutes(2008)
   
5. Basic Instinct 2(2006)
6. A Beautiful Mind(2001)
   
7. Borat(2006) 
8. Catwoman(2004)
   
9. Click(2007)
   
10. Cloverfield(2008)
    
11. Crash(2004) 
12. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon(2000)
    
13. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button(2008)
    
14. Dawn of the Dead(2004)
    
15. The Day After Tomorrow(2004)
16. Death-Proof(2007)
17. The Devil's Rejects(2005)
    
18. Disaster Movie(2008)
    
19. Fahrenheit 9/11(2004)
20. Freddy vs. Jason(2003)
21. Friday the 13th(2009)
    
22. Halloween(2007)
23. Halloween II(2009)
    
24. High Fidelity(2000)
    
25. Hostel, Part II(2007)
    
26. I Know Who Killed Me(2007)
27. Inglorious Basterds(2009)
28. Knowing(2009)
29. My Bloody Valentine(2009)
    
30. Nature's Grave(2008)
    
31. One Missed Call(2008)
    
32. Planet of the Apes(2000)
33. Prom Night(2008)
    
34. Righteous Kill(2008)
    
35. Rollerball(2002)
36. The Room(2003)
    
37. Signs(2001)
38. Sleuth(2007)
    
39. Snakes on a Plane(2006)
40. The Spirit
    
41. Superman Returns(2006)
42. Train(2008)
    
43. The Wicker Man(2006)

* You probably noticed that the first three "worst" films are out of alphabetical order. That's because those three boggle my mind. Two of them were Oscar winners. And for the life of me, I can't figure out why. They weren't terrible films, but I wouldn't even have put any of them in the top 10 for their respective years. I know people disagree over matters of taste, but I look at those films and I truly can't understand how anyone could possibly put those in a "best of" list. They're not terrible films. I just find them to be...mediocre, at best. The Departed, despite having a slew of great actors, was acted amazingly poorly, the bad accents made me wince (yeah, I'm talking to you, Sheen), and the plot was illogical and full of huge holes. Kill Bill is yet another mishmash of "stuff that Quentin thinks is cool," and I really resent that it was split into two films because a) it didn't need to be, and b)of course it was about the money. Get an editor, Quentin. That said, the second installment was much better. Slumdog is the one I am least offended by, but still...it's so caught up in its gimmick that you can never really become interested in the characters. Forget about the fact that we know the main character survives from the beginning, which tends to reduce any sense of suspense or danger we might feel. What really bothered me is that every time I started getting interested in the characters, the film jumped to a different time. To be honest, I would have rather watched a complete two-hour film about any of the various incarnations of the characters (like the young boy looking to meet his hero). I wanted a film that fully developed the characters. Instead, I feel like I got a bunch of different characters that I never really got to know, and consequently never cared about.

Yet Another List That Frustrates Me

So, PasteMagazine.com has a post up with their choices for the "50 Best Movies of the Decade." If you know me, you know that I generally hate these types of lists. I knew I was going to hate this one when I saw The Departed and Kill Bill 1&2 on there. I didn't think The Departed was the best picture of the year when it won, and I sure don't think it's in the top 50 of the decade. There were a few nice choices in there (Whale Rider, Memento, Amelie), and a few "really?" choices (Juno, which--only two years later--already seems tired, and High Fidelity), but overall, the choices struck me as a bit pretentious. There were a couple fairly obvious "mainstream" films listed, such as the Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Dark Knight, but many of the films picked seemed designed to show off the authors' "hipness." I'm reminded of the "game show" episode from "Friends":

Ross: Rachel claims this is her favorite movie.
Chandler: Dangerous Liasons.
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie?
Joey: Weekend at Bernies.
Ross: Correct.


I'm not saying that they're necessarily bad films*, but I thought there were some better choices out there. I'm thinking about making my own list of the best 50 of the decade, so feel free to send me your suggestions in the comments section.

*except for The Departed and Kill Bill. And fair disclosure--I haven't seen every film on the list.

This Is My New Favorite Video

It's obviously fake, but still awesome, if only for the concept.

Trickey with Balls - The best bloopers are here

I Can't Stop Clicking!!

So I've been absorbed with this website lately: flickchart. There's not much to it, really, but it's addictive. You start out being given a choice between two films. Depending on your choices, flickchart makes a personal ranking for your top movies. You also get information on others' picks, and can discuss the various choices. Sound boring? It's not. And sometimes the choices are easy. But sometimes they're not. I would guess that most people would have no problem choosing between Rocky and Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, but is it equally as easy to choose between, say, Die Hard and Raiders of the Lost Ark?

It's not perfect. Since the first several movies you rank create your list, I've found it tough to get some of them off your top 20. Dumb and Dumber was in my top 20 for a loooong time. For the most part, though, it does a fairly accurate job, especially the more choices you go through. For example, I've got just over 1000 decisions, and here's the makeup of my top 20:

1. The Wrestler
2. The Professional
3. Midnight Run
4. Spider Man
5. Dark City
6. Spider Man 2
7. Young Sherlock Holmes
8. Deliverance
9. The Sixth Sense
10. Jaws
11. The Bourne Identity
12. Rocky
13. Live Free or Die Hard
14. Caddyshack
15. Sharky's Machine
16. Die Hard
17. Mission Impossible III
18. Batman Begins
19. Terminator 2: Judgement Day
20. Boogie Nights

Some of them should be higher (Jaws, Die Hard) and some lower (The Wrestler, Deliverance), and some are missing (Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars), but if these twenty were at a film festival? I'd never leave my seat.

You can create your own profile at www.flickchart.com, but I understand the waiting list could be a couple of weeks. I, however, have a few invites that I might be enticed into giving away. Make me an offer I can't refuse...

Happy Memorial Day!

Sometimes Cracked.com is just awesome. This is one of those times.

5 Real-Life Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like A Pussy

Wait...Did You Hear That?

Abandoned places. Creepy photos accompanied by hilarious text. How can you go wrong. Just click here already.

Christmas Recycling

I sent this out in an emai to a chosen few last year, but now that I have this new, improved forum, I thought I'd share it again.

The Dead Serious Top Ten Holiday Activities

10. Contact plumber’s union about the possibility of staging a wondrous holiday musical/ballet. Title: The Buttcracker!

9. Making fruitcake for family and friends. It’s the one time a year I get to flour my nuts.

8. Making sure all the neighborhood kids know that every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings…and every time a car horn honks, a puppy is killed.

7. Recycling things around the house to create thoughtful, homemade gifts. Dried-gum lint roller keeps clothes lint-free AND minty-fresh.

6. Well, let’s just say that this Christmas, when I say “ho ho ho,”...I’ll be taking a head count.

5. Set out on a holy Christmas pilgrimage to find the land of the heat and cold misers.

4. I like to live on the edge: I’m makin’ a list, but I’m only gonna check it once.

3. Find some cantankerous old rich guy, and take him on a magical trip to view the Christmases of his past, present, and future. Then, when he’s pleading in front of his tombstone, take his wallet. It’s a cautionary tale—you gotta keep an eye on that sucker.

2. Stage a nativity scene with monkeys dressed like bellboys. When local church groups complain, tell them it’s a “Darwin Christmas.” Then throw monkey poop at them and run.

1. I really wanted to do something funny and clever for number one, but the truth is, I’ll probably just get liquored up and kick the shit out of an elf.

Square?? Square??

Do the two squares cancel each other out?

I got this link from Petitedov, who got it from Karol.

D	Dashing
E	Entertaining
A	Awkward
D	Devious
S	Square
E	Edgy
R	Rare
I	Influential
O	Outrageous
U	Useful
S	Square

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Just So There Are No More Disputes...

Here are the rules for calling "Shotgun!" My favorite:

Amendment XV: Ozzie Pissbolt
If the driver gets confused or annoyed with chaotic rules arguments, he may shout "Ozzie Pissbolt," suggesting that the first person to touch the car is awarded shotgun.