A Shameless Request

My friend Angela is in the running to be one of Maxim magazine's "hometown hotties." Now Angela certainly is a hottie, but she's also a great person, and I'd love to see her win this one. All you have to do to help her out is to click on the link below and then click "vote for me." You can vote every day until the contest is over. Go Angela!!

Vote for Angela, the hottest of the hometown hotties!

So What's Not To Hate?

I'm adding a link to I Hate The Media, In part, because of this.

UPDATE: Also adding The Patriot Room.

Another Welcome!

Dantravels has been sending me a rather large portion of hits, so it's only fair that I add him to my blogroll. Although I don't know Dan personally, I like reading his blog, and we must think alike because his last two posts were on toys and breasts. Please take a minute or two and check it out.

Ooooh....I Want That!!!

How many times did you say that growing up? Let me refresh your memory with this list of the top 100 toys of all time**. It's amazing how many of these I owned/played. (Battling Tops rocked!! And if either of my sisters is reading this...Where's my Electronic Detective??) This one's for Ken:

#94 - Smoking Monkey
Aside from the fact that it was seriously politically incorrect on many, many levels at once, the Smoking Monkey was the source of much confusion for British youngsters, who could neither understand nor appreciate why anyone would actually want a toy chimpanzee dragging on a pretend cigarette nor indeed what possible use or purpose it might serve.

Purpose? Purpose? It's a smoking monkey...Who needs a purpose?

** When I say "all time," I really mean "historic time," as nowhere on that list did I see those prehistoric favorites the rock, the stick, or the ever-popular "Knock Out Grog And Steal His Fire," the first and only board game to be played with a real board.

And To All A Good Night

Well, it's technically Christmas already, but since I haven't gone to bed, I'll pretend it's still the night before.

As I approach the end of the year, and 5,000 hits, I just wanted to say "thank you" to you all. Those of you who pestered me to start this thing, and those who linked to it, or stopped by once in a while for a laugh, even those who came by to disagree...you all make doing this worthwhile. And I feel very lucky and privileged to share this small part of me with such good people.

I hope that wherever you're going, and whatever you're doing tomorrow (today?), you are happy, safe, and content. But not too content, because you need to get your asses back here and get me past the five grand hits mark.

So until then Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukah/Merry Kwanzaa/Happy Festivus (for the rest of us) and "God Bless!"/"L'Chaim!"/"As-Salaam-Alaikum!"/"Hey, Buddy!"

...And to all a good night.

It's True

I tried to downplay it, but since Ken let the cat out of the bag (really, someone ought to take that bag away from him), I'll acknowledge it--I'm another year older. Unfortunately, I have to teach all day long. But at least I'll get to spend this special day doing what I love...looking at young co-eds. (What? You thought I was gonna say teaching? C'mon, you should all know me by now.)

I May Be Walking The Plank Soon

Cap'n William Teach over at Pirate's Cove and I have been having a slight disagreement over this article. Now, forgetting this particular issue, I suspect that Cap'n Teach and I think alike, and I'm always looking to add another link to my blogroll. So head on over and weigh in on the issue, tell me I'm completely wrong, whatever. Just make sure you hang around and read some of his other posts.

Put Up Or Shut Up

I know I haven't been that political recently, and I apologize. It's a fairly hectic time for me, and I haven't been able to write as much as I'd like. However, I can't stress enough how good of a job people like antimedia have done in keeping me informed on the current goings-on.

One of his posts in particular has caught my attention. He links to My Soldier, an organization that allows individuals and groups to adopt a soldier. It's easy, and free, and I urge you to sign up. And when someone you know on the right gives thanks or offers a toast to our men and women in uniform, say "I'm glad you feel that way," and ask them to sign up for My Soldier. When someone you know on the left insists that although they are against the war, they support the troops, say "I know a non-political way you can do that," and ask them to sign up for My Soldier.

When a person enrolls in the My Soldier program, they agree to adopt a soldier. They receive a “starter kit” containing guidelines for letter writing and care package preparation, a red My Soldier bracelet, and a specially designed My Soldier baseball hat to include with the first letter they send to their deployed United States Armed Serviceperson. The first letter/care package they send is addressed to their soldier's platoon contact who then distributes it to their soldier. The soldier then replies and direct correspondence begins (about 80% of soldiers respond, but 100% appreciate getting the letters).

There's no good reason not to do it.

It's Here! It's Finally Here!

Well, it's officially Ken's birthday. If you found my blog through his, you already know this, I'm sure. He has a few posts up about the event in a bit of self-promotion the likes of which I would never participate in (December 8th). After reading Ken's post criticizing gift-giving, I was tempted to "out" him in the comments by pointing out that we exchange gifts yearly. And then I realized that in a way, he was right. While we do exchange gifts, we do it in a very manly, unassuming way. First of all, we're almost never on time. This way...Could be a birthday gift, could be a Christmas gift, could be payoff on a gambling debt...Who knows? Secondly, the gifts are always the same. I send Ken an Amazon.com package of all the books I would have read if I hadn't given up reading for my porn habit. He sends me a package of dry ice. Did I mention the dry ice was surrounded by lots of Cajun goodies, which I then eat nonstop until I get sick? Really, it's a very nice setup.

I think he gets it right when he talks about the gender difference, though. If you'll forgive the upcoming language and chauvinism, I'd like to compare gift-giving with post-date discussion. Specifically, the differences in the way each gender deals with them. As Ken pointed out, gift-giving takes on some kind of mythic Jungian significance for women. It's either a token of emotion, or an act of competition. If Lord of the Flies was written with a cast of young women, the rescue team would very likely have arrived to find a tight-lipped girl weaving sheet sets from palm fronds, muttering "give me a kiln-fired dish set with gold edging mined from the Forbidden Mountain, will she?" Men aren't like that. We don't want to make a big deal of things, lest other guys see any emotion in us. (Unless we're watching Brian's Song, or our team loses the Super Bowl...We're not monsters, for God's sake***.) We also don't extend the gift-giving niceties. There's no follow up. Well, practically none. I only have to confirm that Ken didn't already have any of the books I sent. He only has to confirm that I didn't choke on a piece of snout. Again, it's very much like the sharing of date information:

Two Girls After a Date
Girl 1: How was it?
Girl 2: Oh my God...It was perfect! He was wearing this nice...[what follows is a word by word replay of each and every moment of the entire evening, including who was wearing what, where you went, who ate what, and what songs were playing in the car AND what each of those things meant]...and it only lasted for three and a half-minutes, but he fell asleep in my arms!

Two Guys After a Date
Guy 1: Did you screw her?
Guy 2: Yeah.
Guy 1: Nice.

(Of course, I myself would never participate in such a misogynistic exchange. These Cro-Magnons are merely representative of the less-sensitive men I have encountered in my life as far as you know.)

Anyway, if you haven't done so already, go on over and wish Ken a happy birthday. He deserves it. And Ken, if you're reading this--and you better be--Have a great birthday, and maybe I'll try something different this year. You're just lucky you didn't publish your birthday night plans a little earlier, or you'd be getting a very public strip-o-gram. A very public male strip-o-gram.

Before I forget...Go on over to The Subway Chronicles and read some good writing. The host is looking to break 20,000 hits for the month, so let's help her out. Oh, and Ken has a piece up there...But don't let that stop you.

*** Ladies, you might be wondering about groin injuries. There's really little emotion there. As any man will tell you, these are the inevitable steps one will take immediately after a buddy takes a punch, foot, elbow, ball, dog bite, parking meter, etc., in the goods.
1) A sharp intake of breath.
2) A sympathetic "Owwwwww."
3) Three hours of giggling and trying to re-enact just what his face looked like at the moment of impact. ("Then your eyes went in different directions, and you made this noise like, 'Yurk!'")