Try Not To Lose THIS One, Lois.

Perhaps we should email this little gem from Consumerist to Lois Lerner?

How to Not Suck at Dealing with Old Paperwork

It's good advice for anyone, actually. Especially this part:

"If you prefer digital to paper, you can download account statements and keep the electronic versions, but make sure they have a place to live that’s beyond your hard drive.

Why?

If your computer ever gives you the dreaded blue screen of death, you need to be sure you still have access to your documents."

The Dog Ate My Computer!

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything. It's not that I haven't had a lot to say; it's just that most of it has been said in rambling emails to close friends. I need to get back in the habit of sharing my discontent with all of you.

That said, I had prepared a post on the missing Lois Lerner emails, but then I realized that Dan Mitchell said nearly everything I said, and probably said it better. So I'll link to his post on it. The only thing I would add is to ask you all one question:

If it were you or I that claimed--to the IRS--that the emails they requested for our audit just happened to be lost due to a "computer crash," how do you think they would respond? And take a second to realize that, unlike organizations such as the IRS, most of us likely don't have any kind of backup or redundancy for our home systems.

I can make a pretty good guess how they would respond.

"Computer crash" is the modern equivalent of "the dog ate my homework!" I hear it far too often from students who are looking for a deadline extension. Of course, most of them don't realize the extent of my computer skills, and are stuck when I begin asking them for further details, or just call them on outright fibs.

We ought to handle the IRS with a similar technique. That is, have the Justice Department and/or FBI confiscate all computers related to the missing emails--all servers or clients that created, transmitted, or stored the emails--and have them run through by forensics experts. They may not be able to recover any, but it might be worthwhile trying to find just what happened to them. And if the drives turned out to have been wiped? Well, that in itself seems a bit suspicious, don't you think? It's like a crime scene where they found no forensic evidence of an intruder, but also no evidence of the residents (which you would naturally expect to find in the place where they lived). The logical conclusion would be that the scene was cleaned and sterilized on purpose.

People keep calling this a "scandal," but it seems at this point to be more than that. It's beginning to look, in toto, like a crime, and we ought to begin investigating it as such.

With Great Apologies to Johnny Rivers

This little ditty began when I was watching reports of the Anthony Weiner scandal and started humming upon hearing Weiner's nom de porn, "Carlos Danger." It should be sung to the tune of Johnny Rivers' "Secret Agent Man," which, if you're not familiar, can be found in a YouTube video at the end of the post.

There’s a man who goes by Carlos Danger.
He likes to show his package off to strangers.
If you’ve got curvy hips,
He’ll let you see the tip.
Odds are he won’t get the job of mayor.

Secret Weiner Man,
Secret Weiner Man
He just keeps sending selfies,
Anthony’s got no shame.

Beware of naked pictures he will send,
It’s clear he wants to be more than a friend.
He’ll send a dirty text,
To tell you what’s coming next (he is!)
He really shouldn’t get the job of mayor.

Secret Weiner Man
Secret Weiner Man
Send a photo of your business,
And he’ll send you back the same.

He’ll promise voters better lives on one day,
Then promise you a Politico job the next day.
He does the apology dance,
He wants yet another chance,
Please don’t give this man the job of mayor.

Secret Weiner Man
Secret Weiner Man
If you send him to Gracie Mansion,
You’ve got only yourselves to blame.

By the way, it's sheer, humorous coincidence that the name of the album is "...and I know you wanna dance," which sounds like it could have come straight out of one of Weiner's correspondences. You'll also notice it includes other Weiner-appropriate titles, such as "The Snake," "In the Midnight Hour," and "I Can't Help Myself."

It's All Greek To Me

So one of the Greek athletes, a triple jumper by the name of Voula Papachristou, was kicked of her country's olympic team for a tweet that many found offensive.

Her offending message – which was referring to reports of mosquitoes carrying the West Nile virus in her home country – read: ‘With so many Africans in Greece, at least the West Nile mosquitoes will eat home made food!’

Here's the thing--it's not really funny, and it does deal with racial issues (I guess, anyway. She doesn't really specify Black Africans, and I don't know the racial makeup of Greece, but maybe there's some other racial thing here that I'm not getting. Anybody know?), but I'm not sure it rises to the level of sending her home.

I'm a believer in free speech, and while what she said was stupid, if countries start sending home Olympians for stupid, assholish behavior, it's going to be a really short competition.

One last point--there won't be a moment of silence to mark the murder of the '72 Israeli athletes on this anniversary. This, in my view, is a much more offensive act that a young athlete's mindless tweet.

It's Very Simple, Really...

I'm getting a little tired of the "it's all political showmanship" argument regarding the Fast & Furious scandal. Do Republicans benefit from the hearings? Absolutely. But that's an effect of the program, not a cause. The Republicans didn't make the administration hand out guns like they were lollipops. The Republicans didn't decide not to track them. It's not the Republicans fault that the guns were used to kill hundreds of people. Holder and the administration are in this mess because they put themselves there with bad decisions. The fact the the GOP benefits from that is besides the point.

And if someone wants to argue that the whole thing "isn't a big deal," ask them one simple question:

If this were any other group, would you still argue that?

That is, if we were to find out that some American corporation somewhere sold guns to foreign drug dealers, and that those guns were later responsible for the deaths of several hundred foreign nationals as well as a U.S. Border Patrol agent, shouldn't we pursue any and all avenues to find out who was responsible for those guns getting into foreign hands, and make sure he or she receives just punishment? Because you can bet your ass if it were to happen that way, the same people who are now saying "move along, nothing to see here" would be trumpeting this to the rooftops as a national tragedy and calling for tougher gun laws.

The hypocrisy is even more glaring if you take a more personal view. If I get liquored up one night, and the next morning they find the DNA of 300 dead Mexicans and a dead Border Patrol agent in the grill of my car, and the DA happens to disagree with me politically, it's not a political witch hunt when he prosecutes me; he's simply doing his job.

Is Kim Kardashian Smarter Than Anthony Weiner?

Yes, at least when it comes to recognizing one's own body, I guess. Despite yammering on incessantly about what would happen if someone were to throw a pie at him, Representative Weiner can't seem to come up with the answer to what appears to be a simple question: is the picture sent from his twitter account, in fact, a picture of his nether region? Is it because he really doesn't recognize himself? How hard can that be?

Not too hard, apparently, as Kim Kardashian, whose entire "career" is perched delicately on her haunches, had no trouble spotting her naked torso when it was used as the cover of Terrace Martin and Devi Dev's new album. Now, to be fair, identifying Kardashian's naked torso (or most of her other parts for that matter) isn't all that hard if you've ever, I don't know...used the internet. But still, Weiner ought to at least know whether or not someone snapped a picture of his junk. Perhaps that's the problem--he's had so many pictures taken below the belt that he just can't be sure if this one is him or not. Seriously, how else could one not be certain?

It seems pretty clear that there's something else going on here, and Weiner's normal way of dealing with things he can't answer--interrupting and/or talking loudly over dissenters--isn't working for him. There's only one thing that the media loves more than political scandal, and that's sexual political scandal. Saying that we shouldn't "make a federal case" out of it is one of the most telling statements he's made. First of all, it is a federal case. Hacking into the computer account of a sitting congressman is, I believe, the very definition of a federal case. And let's be honest: if Weiner's account was actually hacked, he'd have the culprit tracked down within hours, dragged three times around the capital building before finally having him or her flayed alive while CSPAN captured it all. The fact that he hasn't demanded a head on a platter speaks volumes.

Notice, also, that I refrained from any sophomoric innuendo or puns regarding the congressman's name. There's been so much of that already that I thought I'd give you a break from all those people trying to cram Weiner down your throat.

An Inconvenient Masseuse?

Looks like there's something else he should have kept in a lockbox.

Granted, it's the Enquirer, but they've been pretty good with this sort of thing.

Is It Too Soon?

The Ted Kennedy Health Care Bill: It provides coverage for ALL Americans...except those riding in the passenger seat.

It's All In The Way You Tell It

President Obama awarded Ted Kennedy (among others) the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian honor available. During the ceremony...

...the president recounted a story he said Kennedy sometimes tells about a little boy who sees an old man collecting stranded starfish on the beach and throwing them back into the sea.

"'There are so many', asks the boy. 'What difference can your efforts possibly make?'" Obama said, recounting the story. "The old man studies the starfish in his hand and tosses it to safety, saying, 'It makes a difference to that one.'

I have my own little story to tell. Maybe it'll catch on.

A young boy sees the President of the United States adding Ted Kennedy to his list of candidates to receive the highest of civilian honors. "Why would you add him?" asks the the boy. "While drunk, he drove his car off a bridge and left his young date in the car to drown."
"But in his career he has done so much for so many others," the president responds. "What difference is one life in comparison to the many he has helped?"
The young boy turns in disgust and walks away, muttering "It makes a difference to that one."

Cap And Trade THIS!

Looks like somebody's got some 'splaining to do. Richard Morrison, over at the Competitive Enterprise Institute, has authored a press release about some skulduggery going on at the Environmental Protection Agency. I guess it's more of that "transparency" we were promised. The release is so short, I'm just going to post the whole thing. If you want to go to the original, it's here.

CEI Releases Global Warming Study Censored by EPA

Washington, D.C., June 26, 2009—The Competitive Enterprise Institute is today making public an internal study on climate science which was suppressed by the Environmental Protection Agency. Internal EPA email messages, released by CEI earlier in the week, indicate that the report was kept under wraps and its author silenced because of pressure to support the Administration’s agenda of regulating carbon dioxide.

The report finds that EPA, by adopting the United Nations’ 2007 “Fourth Assessment” report, is relying on outdated research and is ignoring major new developments. Those developments include a continued decline in global temperatures, a new consensus that future hurricanes will not be more frequent or intense, and new findings that water vapor will moderate, rather than exacerbate, temperature.

New data also indicate that ocean cycles are probably the most important single factor in explaining temperature fluctuations, though solar cycles may play a role as well, and that reliable satellite data undercut the likelihood of endangerment from greenhouse gases. All of this demonstrates EPA should independently analyze the science, rather than just adopt the conclusions of outside organizations.

The released report is a draft version, prepared under EPA’s unusually short internal review schedule, and thus may contain inaccuracies which were corrected in the final report.

“While we hoped that EPA would release the final report, we’re tired of waiting for this agency to become transparent, even though its Administrator has been talking transparency since she took office. So we are releasing a draft version of the report ourselves, today,” said CEI General Counsel Sam Kazman.

It's worth checking out the link to the report covering the e-mails as well.

UPDATE: Fox finally got around to this.

Big story developing right now in Washington...

No, jerkweeds, it was developing days ago. You know, while you were drooling over the death of a pop singer.

"Dude...Is That Maui Wowie?" "No, It's Schadenfreude!"

So Kellogg's has decided not to renew Michael Phelps's contract.

Frankly, this whole thing is such bullshit. We have a president in office who has admitted to doing "blow," and the two before him have (I'm sure) smoked a little ganja themselves, inhaling or not. (Oh, and the president's half-brother was just arrested for possession.)

Kellogg's has the right to do as they see fit, but the press was being a little hypocritical by going after Phelps, while holding up Obama as a paragon of virtue.

If you ask me, anyone who smokes a bong and still manages to win 14 medals for swimming is a great spokesman for what human beings can accomplish. Remember, this is the guy that gave his one million dollar Speedo bonus to start a foundation for young swimmers, to help teach swimming safety. He's a good guy. People like Phelps, and maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think the general public sees marijuana as the "demon weed" it once was. About half the country admits to trying it, and I'll bet many of the other half lied.

Prediction? This will come back to bite Kellogg's in the ass.

("Kellogg's Ass Bites" could be the worst cereal name ever.)

He Ain't Heavy...

Billy Carter, Roger Clinton, and now...
George Obama.

Seems as if the president's half-brother was just arrested in Nairobi for possession of marijuana. Maybe he could market this, kind of like "Billy Beer." How about "Obama Ganja"?

Why is it that the Democrats always seem to have these embarrassing brothers? I guess maybe the Republicans just elect theirs.*

*Someone was going to say it...why not me?

Typical...

Here's the AP Headline (I kid you not):

Mother of Palin Daughter's Boyfriend Arrested

Attend an inflammatory preacher's church for twenty years? No ties there. Serve on a couple of boards with a former domestic terrorist? No ties there. Former fundraiser's a felon? The same fundraiser who was instrumental in setting up the administration of the governor who was just accused of selling your soon-to-be-empty senate seat? Move along, nothing to see here. But the mother of your daughter's boyfriend? That's worthy of a headline with your name in it. My god! You might as well be joined at the hip!

Maybe we should look at Obama's father's brother's sister's boyfriend's babysitter's hairdresser, and see what dirt we can dig up there.

And So It Starts...

I had to laugh a little when I read this:

President-elect Barack Obama said Monday a review by his own lawyer shows he had no direct contact with Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich about the appointment of a Senate replacement, and transition aides did nothing inappropriate. (emphasis mine)

Yes, that's right...his own lawyer. This must be that transparency he was promising. Just think--this novel idea could spread to other sections of society. We'd have no need of juries anymore; we can simply let the defense attorneys decide the fate of the accused. No more jury duty! We could all give ourselves raises at work. No more economic problems there!

And just in case you think there might be something shifty about the investigation...

[Obama] said the probe was complete and thorough, but did not say which of his aides Craig interviewed, whether any of them was under oath at the time, or any other details.

Well, there you go. Obama's lawyer investigated him, and we know he did a good job because Obama (the guy he was--in part--investigating) said he did. Nothing shady there.

C'mon...are you kidding me? Even Clinton didn't have the balls to try to get away with something like this.

When asked about Obama's claims, the mainstream media replied "sounds good to us!"

"And All The Women In My Family Are Female."

Petitedov has a post on the alleged threatening remarks yelled about Barack Obama during a Sarah Palin rally in Scranton.

One of the things that struck me was the defense offered up by Jeff Sonderman, the Metro Editor of The Scranton Times-Tribune, the paper that "broke" the story:

“We stand by the story. The facts reported are true and that’s really all there is.”

This is what's known as a tautology. That is, since the word "fact" means "true," you're comparing synonyms. It's like saying "All the women in my family are female." It's not only faulty logic, it's redundant. What Sonderman essentially said was "All the true things we reported were true." Of course that says nothing about things that may not have been true.

Just Frightening...

I know the Ayers-Obama connection has been done to death. I'm not going to try to top what's already out there, but I will link to this post from Deroy Murdock that puts a lot of information about Ayers (and his Obama connection) together in one place. I have to admit--I already thought that Ayers was a dangerous individual, but after reading this, I realize that I had no idea just how dangerous. You really have to read this.

Here's a sample about Ayers:

In 1970, Ayers encapsulated the Weathermen’s worldview: “Kill all the rich people. Break up their cars and apartments. Bring the revolution home. Kill your parents.”

And another about his wife and fellow Weatherman (Weatherperson?) Bernardine Dohrn:

She later said this about the Charles Manson family’s August 9, 1969, murders of pregnant actress Sharon Tate and her friends in her Beverly Hills home: “Dig it! Manson killed those pigs, then they ate dinner in the same room with them, then they shoved a fork into the victim’s stomach. Wild!”

I think Murdock also brings up an important point--while everyone is focusing on how Obabma could accept support from Ayers and Dohrn, we ought to also be asking just what it was about Obama that made Ayers and Dohrn decide he was the candidate they wanted to launch. What was it they saw in him?

UPDATE: You might want to read the reprinted article that originally carried the quotes above.

There Are Probably A Few Sarah Palin Bikini Photos Out There Somewhere...

...but this isn't one of them.

The picture, allegedly of Palin in a red, white, and blue bikini, holding a gun has been "making the rounds." In the digital age, people should really know better, but I've already seen a number of posts on various sites describing the photo and then demanding "explain that!"

One word...photoshop.

Right Wing News has the goods on the fake and the original.

Again...Dat's What I'm Talkin' Bout

Of course, everyone else did too. It was obvious that the Chinese Women's Gymnastics Team had a number of underage participants. Now the Times of London is reporting that there may be some hard evidence confirming that. Or at least enough to warrant an investigation. How thorough that will be is anyone's guess...but I wouldn't hold my breath.

An IOC official told The Times that because of "discrepancies" that have come to light about the age of He Kexin, the host nation’s darling who won gold in both team and individual events, an official inquiry has been launched that could result in the gymnast being stripped of her medals.

The investigation was triggered as a US computer expert claimed yesterday to have uncovered Chinese government documents that he says prove she is only 14 - making her ineligible to compete in the Olympics - rather than 16, as officials in Beijing insist is her age.

I guess if the Chinese are disqualified, then the Americans will win the gold?

The (perceived) Power Of Words

I'm sure by now, everyone's heard about Whoopi Goldberg and Elisabeth Hasselbeck mixing it up over the use of the "n-word" on "The View" the other day. What I'm really surprised is that after listening to Whoopi and Sherri Shepherd essentially say that the word has "different meanings" depending on whether it's used by blacks or non-blacks, no one has thought to go all the way back to 1993, when Whoopi herself defended then-boyfriend Ted Danson for appearing at her Friar's Club roast in blackface and using the word several times.

When Goldberg got her chance for rebuttal at the end of the x-rated evening, she opened with, "Nigger, nigger, nigger. Whitey, whitey, whitey. It takes a whole lot of courage to come out in blackface in front of 3,000 people. "She stated emphatically, "I don't care if you don't like it. I do."

So apparently it is okay for a white man to use the word, as long as Whoopi thinks it's okay.

I think this speaks to exactly what Hasselbeck was talking about. Whoopi and Sherri were arguing that the difference exists because of intent...but frankly? That's bullshit. First of all, it isn't really intent; it's perceived intent. That is, it's what the "recipient" thinks the user meant. Just look above--Whoopi thought it was all right for a white man to dress in blackface and use the word, so she defended Danson. A lot of others in the audience that night didn't.

Celebrities on hand who stared in disbelief when Danson entered in blackface included dais guest Jasmine Guy, Sugar Ray Leonard, Shari Belafonte, Vanessa Williams, Malcolm-Jamal Warner, Anita Baker, Beverly Johnson and Mr. T. Others in attendance included Michael Douglas, Robert Guillaume and talk show host Montel Williams, who stormed out of the ceremony.

Two drastically different views over the same use. See the problem?

Even if you don't buy that argument, think about this: if it's intent that matters, then why, when discussing the use of the word among reasonable adults who seem to only have the best intentions for getting to the heart of the issue, do networks and magazines and even the people on the shows (except for Whoopi) feel the need to bleep it out*, or to use that childish-sounding substitute "the n-word"? Certainly, there's no ill intent in those cases. And although Whoopi, et. al would have you believe that between blacks it's used in strictly positive ways, that's obviously not true either.

The truth is, that as long as the word is acceptable when used by one group, but not another, it will be divisive. Period.

Honestly, I just can't understand those who would defend it's use as being "okay" depending on one's race, especially after so many fought so hard to create racial harmony. Those who know their history know that it was once okay to also have separate schools, facilities, railway cars, etc. for separate races. The U.S. Supreme Court decided in Brown v. Board of Education (1954) that (at least regarding schools) the idea of separation was "inherently unequal." Why is still okay today to separate word use?

* I thought it was particularly telling that whoever was in charge of such things at "The View" felt that it was necessary to bleep the n-word, but let the word "polack" through untouched.

You Do Realize That Means Dates Will Be Abbreviated B.O., Right?

Spike Lee responded to Jesse Jackson's "off-air" comments about what he wanted to do to Senator Obama for "talking down to blacks." (Hint: what Rev. Jackson wanted to do rhymes with "nut his cuts off.")

"I don't think his (Jackson's) comments help anybody. It's just unfortunate,"

He also speculated about what an Obama presidency might mean:

"When that happens, it will change everything. ... You'll have to measure time by `Before Obama' and `After Obama,'" Lee said during the panel. "It's an exciting time to be alive now."

The presidency of the first African-American will ripple throughout arts, sports and more, said Lee, whose films include "Malcolm X" and "Do the Right Thing."

"Everything's going to be affected by this seismic change in the universe," he said.

And when you think about it, isn't that just what the Obama campaign has been missing--hyperbole?

I do agree with one thing that Spike had to say, though:

Here's the thing: I don't know why people are questioning whether Barack Obama is black enough. For me, that's an ignorant statement."

"There are middle-class, educated black people who speak the way he does. ... We have to try to move away from this so-called image of what black is, which is largely influenced by rap and that type of stuff," Lee said.

I just wonder why Spike didn't "do the right thing" and defend Colin Powel and Condoleeza Rice when their "blackness" was questioned by Harry Belafonte, who compared them to "house slaves."

But what can you expect from the man who called Clarence Thomas "A handkerchief-head, chicken-and-biscuit-eating Uncle Tom"?*

*To be fair, Spike Lee's comment was that Malcom X, if he were alive today, would have placed that label on Thomas, but I think we can agree that Lee at least shared the sentiment.