Never Underestimate Stupidity

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What's Next? The Knights Who Say "Nike"?

So I just watched that Gatorade commercial that references Monty Python & The Holy Grail, and I can't help wondering if they've missed their target audience ever so slightly...

And then I saw a Burger King commercial where a couple of nerdy guys unveil mini burgers, which draw a crowd of hands-on, attractive ladies who "just want to squeeze them." Bravo, BK...Bravo.

"Dude...Is That Maui Wowie?" "No, It's Schadenfreude!"

So Kellogg's has decided not to renew Michael Phelps's contract.

Frankly, this whole thing is such bullshit. We have a president in office who has admitted to doing "blow," and the two before him have (I'm sure) smoked a little ganja themselves, inhaling or not. (Oh, and the president's half-brother was just arrested for possession.)

Kellogg's has the right to do as they see fit, but the press was being a little hypocritical by going after Phelps, while holding up Obama as a paragon of virtue.

If you ask me, anyone who smokes a bong and still manages to win 14 medals for swimming is a great spokesman for what human beings can accomplish. Remember, this is the guy that gave his one million dollar Speedo bonus to start a foundation for young swimmers, to help teach swimming safety. He's a good guy. People like Phelps, and maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think the general public sees marijuana as the "demon weed" it once was. About half the country admits to trying it, and I'll bet many of the other half lied.

Prediction? This will come back to bite Kellogg's in the ass.

("Kellogg's Ass Bites" could be the worst cereal name ever.)

Those Two Little Words...

Bacon. Pie.

Hold the Pickle, the Lettuce, and Whatever Else You Got!

I don't suppose I'm giving anyone any new information when I tell you that those "healthy" (or otherwise) meals you're ordering at your local restaurants aren't quite living up to their claims, but you might be surprised at just how far off that nutritional information is:

Chili's Guiltless Chicken Sandwich has a published total of 490 calories and 8 grams of fat. The lab-tested sandwich had 566 calories (not too bad) but a whopping 23.3 grams of fat.

Applebee's Italian Chicken & Portobello Sandwich advertised 360 calories and only 6 grams of fat. Once again, the lab results were fairly close in calories (395) but three times the amount of fat grams (18.6)

I'm not sure if you're that worried about the nutritional content of food that you should be eating at these restaurants, but still...there's something to be said for truth in advertising.

Don't Let Her Order The Lobster!

I can't remember if I posted on this challenge before or not (and I'm too lazy to look right now), but the gist of it is that customers of Denny's Beer Barrel Pub have three hours to eat a six-pound burger...with another five pounds of "fixins." So far, no one has been able to do it. No one, that is, until one plucky girl tucked in her napkin.

Kate Stelnick, 19, of Princeton, N.J., who weighs just 100 pounds, on Wednesday became the first person to eat a six-pound hamburger - and five pounds of fixins’ - within three hours.

Yesiree, little Katie Stelnick has earned her place in the history books, as well as a lifetime of "swallowing six pounds of meat" jokes.