January 28, 2005

Not To Sound Cold, But...

This idiot that decides to off himself by parking his SUV on the train tracks, and then chickens out at the last second, fleeing the vehicle moments before the train hits it and derails, killing or wounding more than 200 people?

I just can't believe that they're going to have to spend money to jail and try this yahoo, and then--most likely--spend money on his appeals and execution.

If I was working in the jailhouse, I'd be sure to slip a nice piece of rope and a stool into his cell at some point. The courts are too crowded already.

And for any of you other chuckleheads out there thinking about it... Hey, go ahead, check out. I think you're stupid, but ultimately, I don't care. It thins the herd. But don't be a self-absorbed asshole about it. Don't park you car in front of something that carries other people at 70 miles per hour. Don't shoot yourself and leave a gun around where kids can find it. Same with pills. Don't slit your wrists--do you know what kind of a mess that's going to leave for your loved ones to clean up?

You wanna do it? Here's what you do--strip naked, coat yourself with barbecue sauce and climb into the polar bear pit at your local zoo. You get the headlines and attention that you couldn't get in life, and hey...The bears get something out of it too.

1 comment:

  1. Better yet, send the people who want to punch out my way.

    I need to relieve a whole lot of stress and I could use the target practice, too.

    And I'll do it away from public eyes and even clean up the mess -- promise!