I'm feeling in a fun mood, here in the wee small hours of the morning. I got this picture from
Drudge. What I want all of you to do is create a caption for it. I've put mine in already, but I reserve the right to throw a few in later.
"Well, well, well...NOW who's the big war hero?"
"Sweet Jesus, I just knew I fucked up when I let my handlers use that picture of me with John Lennon as an official campaign poster!!!!!!!!!!"
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"Alright, smart-ass. You're about one anti-American comment away from me having to replace my bumper sticker about your good buddy Ted Kennedy's car killin' more people than my gun."
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With their candidate's prospects of winning the November General Election growing more and more bleak with each passing day, Kerry campaign officials today announced that the Senator intends to draw upon the sympathy vote by employing what Beltway insiders now refer to as the "Mel Carnahan Strategy."
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The continued escalation of hostile actions directed at members of the U.S. Senate by Vice-President Dick Cheney (pictured left) has revived the concerns of those White House and RNC insiders who feel President Bush's running mate may not be healthy enough to seek re-election this November.
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"Card? It's Dubya. Hey, Andy, would you get some Secret Service guys out on that there golf course and get Rumsfeld back to the clubhouse? And -- for God's sake -- tell Donald I was just kiddin' when I said I was going to write a National Securitizing Directivization declaring that the federal government now considers John Kerry to be an enemy combatant in the War on Terra'."
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Former President Bill Clinton today adamantly denied insinuations suggesting that he is a personal friend of the former Arkansas State Trooper who shot U.S. Senator John F. Kerry in Iowa yesterday afternoon. In a related story, with President George W. Bush's bid for re-election now secure (thus gauranteeing an open seat in the next election due to the presidential term-limit provision of the Constitution) U.S. Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D, NY) today announced her intention to seek her party's 2008 nomination for the White House.
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Kerry: "Well, Bill, you have to look at my vote with a little perspective. I actually voted for that provision before I voted against..."
ReplyDeleteO'Reilly: "I don't want to hear that crap, Senator! Your're in the 'No-Spin Zone!'" Now answer the damn question, pinhead -- or else!" (SOUND OF RIFLE COCKING)
CSWYGU
On the one-month anniversary of the death of former President Ronald Wilson Reagan, the late president's would-be 1981 assassin, John Hinckley, Jr., who was released from a mental facility earlier this year, today reiterated his "loving committment" to American actress Jodi Foster.
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"Uh, sir? I appreciate you volunteering on my campaign and all, but I think you may have misunderstood my people this morning when they talked about a 'shotgun campaign' in this morning's grassroots training seminar."
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In a statement released from the ICU ward of Bethesda Naval Hospital earlier today, U.S. Senator John F. Kerry said he now regrets using the term "shotgun wedding" during a recent stump speech designed to convey his opposition to the proposed constitutional ban on gay marriage while on the campaign trail in the critical battleground state of West Virginia.
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Over the years, members of Congress have grown increasingly weary of the unending ballistic demonstrations conducted by U.S. Senator Arlen Specter (pictured left), who, as a member of the Warren Commission in the 1960s, served as the chief architect of the "magic bullet" theory.
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"Ah'm George Dubya Bush, and Ah approve this message..."
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wow, someone's having fun with this
ReplyDeleteIn the wake of this horrible act of violence, we must ask ourselves what kind of curse is it that haunts United States Senators from Massachusetts who bear the initials JFK?
ReplyDeleteThe previous post was me -- again.
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