Monkey Quote Of The Day

I think monkey pimps would go a long way towards validating evolution, don't you?

--Yours truly, while discussing monkey sexual behavior with Dr. Wheaton of the Institute.

Upon further contemplation, we decided that the most likely candidates would have to be orangutans, because they wear a lot of orange fur, and seem much more likely to beat other primates with a folded-up coat hanger.

Ooooh....Look At Me!!!!

In yet another bit of shameless self-promotion, I posted a few more pics.


My first attempt at stand-up. That's my story, anyway, and I'm sticking to it



C'mon, you know you want to sing it. "Believe it or not, I'm walking on air..."



Ah, yes. This is from my life as a traveling minstrel, a Bard. Barred from ever playing the guitar again, that is. Hahahahahahahahaha!



Sis's birthday party, aka a bevy of cute young ladies and me the only boy for miles. "Oh no! Please, please don't throw me in the briar patch!"



Sing it with me, won't you? "Love for sale. Appetizing young love for sale. If you want to buy my wares, follow me and climb the stairs. Love for sale."



Weather good. Hair bad. Wish you were here.



I'm sure nearly everyone has a same-sex pyramid photo somewhere. It should never, under any circumstances, be shown publicly...oh, crap!



"I see tall people!"

A Life (an early one anyway) In Pictures

Because a) I finally hooked up my scanner, b) they are old enough to maintain a certain amount of anonymity, and c) I have to defend my own cuteness in the face of other cute pictures, I've decided to post some photos of the young DS his own self.


My first picture. Also, apparently, my first Joe Cocker impersonation.


My first football game--Jets vs the BALTIMORE Colts


Here's a little game I like to call "Hide behind the curtain and scare the bejeezus out of Mommy." It was soon to be followed by the "Not sitting down for a couple of hours" game. NOT one of my favorites.


Now that the Old Man's cut me in on the will, he won't be needing THIS any more...


Here I am, helping my dad lay some pipe. (Which, if I were speaking euphemistically, would just be wrong.)


Here I am, sporting a haircut I like to call the Prince Valiant. This picture was apparently taken before the concept of barbershops...and also before the concept of self-esteem.


Here I am looking for that pony my parents promised me. The joke's on me, because I have no concept of size, and don't realize that barn is way too small for a pony. We'll see who's laughing when it comes time to put them in a home.

Doctor, Lawyer, Indian Chief

I also tried many different careers as a child. For example:

Explorer. ("I believe if we make base camp here, we can reach the summit of the toy closet by sundown.")


Fireman



Escape Artist ("And now my lovely assistant Sister Serious the Elder will seal me inside the magic cabinet.")



Bullfighter (I still wake up screaming because of this one. Best not stare at it too long.)



Lounge Singer ("For my next number, I'd like to do a little ditty called 'Hot Cross Buns'...in A flat.")



Batman (Unfortunately, I wasn't allowed out after dark, which seriously curtailed my crimefighting activities.)



Broadway dancer ("Jazz hands! Jazz hands!")



Actor (Here I'm re-enacting the Capone baseball bat scene from The Untouchables..."Teamwork. Teamwork.")



And finally, some sort of orange-pajama-clad gunfighter.

It's Just A Shame

In case you haven't been reading the comments over at Wheaton's place, I want to let you know that commedian Mitch Hedberg was found dead in his NJ hotel room last Wednesday. If you've never seen Hedberg perform, you missed one original and damn funny guy, let me tell you. Here--courtesy of Sean--is page with some of his material. And here's a news story about the incident.

Cause of death has yet to be determined/released, although rumor has it that it was a heart attack. If I find out more, I'll post it.