July 25, 2013

With Great Apologies to Johnny Rivers

This little ditty began when I was watching reports of the Anthony Weiner scandal and started humming upon hearing Weiner's nom de porn, "Carlos Danger." It should be sung to the tune of Johnny Rivers' "Secret Agent Man," which, if you're not familiar, can be found in a YouTube video at the end of the post.
There’s a man who goes by Carlos Danger.
He likes to show his package off to strangers.
If you’ve got curvy hips,
He’ll let you see the tip.
Odds are he won’t get the job of mayor.

Secret Weiner Man,
Secret Weiner Man
He just keeps sending selfies,
Anthony’s got no shame.

Beware of naked pictures he will send,
It’s clear he wants to be more than a friend.
He’ll send a dirty text,
To tell you what’s coming next (he is!)
He really shouldn’t get the job of mayor.

Secret Weiner Man
Secret Weiner Man
Send a photo of your business,
And he’ll send you back the same.

He’ll promise voters better lives on one day,
Then promise you a Politico job the next day.
He does the apology dance,
He wants yet another chance,
Please don’t give this man the job of mayor.

Secret Weiner Man
Secret Weiner Man
If you send him to Gracie Mansion,
You’ve got only yourselves to blame.

By the way, it's sheer, humorous coincidence that the name of the album is "...and I know you wanna dance," which sounds like it could have come straight out of one of Weiner's correspondences. You'll also notice it includes other Weiner-appropriate titles, such as "The Snake," "In the Midnight Hour," and "I Can't Help Myself."

No comments:

Post a Comment